I have a confession.
I am so sorry to have to tell you this in a blog post but I am not sure how to break the news to you. I've given you several hints - little comments here and there. This week if you had bothered to sit with me on Tuesday night I would have been able to get up the nerve to tell you to your face. But you wanted to watch golf upstairs and so I wasn't able to confess to you my secret. And then you left for a business trip the next morning and my chances to confess were lost until Friday. I can't keep it in any longer - I can't wait another day - I must confess.
I am in love with another man. There I said it.
I am sorry to hurt you like this.
I am in love with Michael Johns.
Come on now, you have to admit he is hot and after his performance Tuesday night I can't deny it any more. He can sing, he's hot, and he has a cute Australian accent. I love him. Can you forgive me? I promise to get over him soon. In fact, I will probably be over him in a few weeks when he is cut from American Idol because we all know little David or big David will win this season. And then he will be gone from our lives and we can get back to normal.
If you need an imaginary lover of your own during this time, I will understand. But, she must be shorter, fatter, and preferably unattractive and poorly dressed - because we both know there is a double standard in our house. Right? Just so we are clear here.